SURVIVOR'S STORY: Alan Davis

TYPES:

LPC Counseling | Living Hope Ministries online forums (refereed by Exodus Intl.) | Brother's Keepers Yahoo Group | Celebrate Recovery | ex-gay books | Door of Hope online ex-gay course | pastoral counseling

AGE STARTED:

49

LOCATION:

Loveland, CO / Fort Collins, CO / Windsor, CO / Online

REFERRED BY:

Exodus International Website

Why did you attempt Conversion Therapy?

Because I believed the Bible condemned homosexuality, because gays are discriminated against, because I couldn't come out to my family/friends

What harm did Conversion Therapy cause?

It caused me to feel like something was drastically wrong with me that I could no change. I felt like a complete failure and that I'd be better off dead than alive and gay. I was told that I was "broken" because of my "same sex attraction."

Was there anything positive from your Conversion Therapy experience?

I do have a few online gay friends that I still keep in touch with today, including one that I want to become my life partner, should he be able to immigrate to the USA.

Why or how did you leave Conversion Therapy?

When I was frustrated that I was just as attracted to men as ever, and still had no attraction to women at all, I made a post on both online forums asking for men to be absolutely truthful and let me know if any of them actually had successfully changed their attractions. Out of hundreds (possibly thousands) of members, not one posted, answering my question. This convinced me that no one successfully changes their attractions.

What helped you to overcome your experience?

Therapy at my local mental health facility. (I was taken there by the Police when I was suicidal.) Participating in some ex-ex gay groups online and other friends who have come through the same experience and decided to accept who they are.

What warning would you give to others considering Conversion Therapy?

Conversion therapy is a lie. We cannot chose our attractions, and they are immutably unchangeable. It is VERY harmful and will leave you with little or no sense of self-worth. You may even become suicidal after learning you cannot change your attractions. There is nothing wrong with you as you are. You need to accept who and what you are and love yourself.

What would you like to tell those who promote Conversion Therapy?

It's a lie. No one has ever successfully changed their attractions from gay to straight. You are harming people and even driving some to suicide.

Updated March 2015


This information is presented as courageously and generously provided by the self-identified person above. Conversion Therapy Survivors has not verified the identity of the person or the accuracy of the information provided.